Sometimes it is really hard to know where to get started with Sexual education and our young kids, especially when our generation has very little to reference on this topic in parenting. It is important for kids to understand their body and be able to label it appropriately. They can not always approriately or safely communicate their needs, wants and wonders if they do not have the language.

I recommend starting with teaching and teeaching 3 areas;

• The Body
• Health and Safety rules
• Consent

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Teaching about the body doesnt have to be sexual its science, its biology so we can do this well

⚠️ Teach both boys and girls how to label their body parts but also the opposite genders parts.
When your boy asks why Mum doesn’t have a penis teach him the atomically correct parts he is asking about. Or if a girl asks daddy “what’s that” don’t panic, label them and move on like you would teach a toe or an elbow! example; Penis, Testicle, Foreskin, Nipple, Breast, Vulva, Labia, Vagina, Urethra, Anus, Bottom

🚨Grown up note: There are generations of women that wish they were told about the clitoris and that men were told about it too! Am I right?! Don’t panic about this just yet the language we teach will change and vary. To start it will be very matter a fact like my examples above. Remember what is thought in sexual education in early childhood is very different to what is thought in pre teens and adolescents.

2. Health and safety rules can start as early as you like once developmentally appropriate for a lot of families it will start with toddlers learning to potty train these basic rules will naturally grow and develop with the child. Theses can start as simply as how do we look after our body. Eating well, getting fresh air, taking vitamin d, washing our hands, changing our nappy, wiping our bum and drinking water. These are all basic health and safety rules parents put into place for their kids every day. These then expand as the child gets older. Perhaps when a sibling is body curious with their own body, its ok but what if its curiosity with their brother or sisters body that’s not OK or appropriate. This may be one of the first experiences you have in parenting where you want to set a rule and boundary. The challenge for us is to do this whilst not body shaming them, the natural curiosity but equally keep everyone safe in the family.

We will talk more about setting boundaries around body explorations as the week goes on over on Instagram so stay tuned those reels are coming! 

3. “Consent” is a word I don’t think was even uttered in any of our childhoods! Then when we did hear about it, it was just thought to the girls and I think we are now eventually realizing, that we probably all need to understand consent for the wheel to actually turn!! Don’t be scared of it, its actually the easiest to teach and can have absolutely nothing to do with actual sex.

⚠️ Note Consent can be a really turbulent topic in parenting. It is not as cut and dry as how we view it in Adulthood imo. A child is not always developmentally able to consent to all the things they need for health and safety with a sufficient education and understanding of that education to make a decison.
We have to balance consent with our responsibilities as parents. Example if my child has a temperature of 40 and does not consent to taking calpol I am going to make sure they take it with or without their consent. If you would like more examples please let me know in comments? As sometimes parents say in workshops they find them the most useful way to learn or understand a point.

It is like everything in parenting you’ve to balance it to suit what’s right for you, for your parenting style and your family.

I know alot of parents who reference the WHO for multiple different parenting decisions like breastfeeding, vaccines etc. Do you know they have full and thorough advice and guidelines on sexual education for your child? I say this because perhaps if you are unsure where to start or at certain points and stages with rearing a middle child, pre teen or adolescent perhaps their guidelines would be a reassuring reference for you if you have trusted them thus far. They break down really nicely into age groups and what’s appropriate or expected in each education piece!

Link here

The biggest barrier for our generation and sexual education is our own personal lack of sex education. For the majority of us we are not very enlightened or have ever worked on this area of ourselves. It can be hard to imagine where to start with our kids then. Find information from a trusted source that has similar values and standards as you. A voice that can help shift old mindsets and reframe worries for yourself ideally from an educated place. Sarah Sproule Sex Educator is an ideal example here. 

My number one pet peve when it comes to sexual education in Ireland. People judging liberal discussions on sexual education. Tutting as unnecessary and ruing a childs innocence!! Most often they are very same people ar the playschool gate heard saying “is that your girlfriend” or “have you any boyfriend in there”. Can I start a campaign to bin this narrative. Or at least can we please broaden it to “have you a boyfirend or girlfriend in there” 😜 i joke lets just bin it!

Our greatest barriers to growth in my opinion is a lack of self awareness! Self awareness is such an influencing factor in our parenting. As my Nurturing Resilience Workshop families will always atest to afterwards. The next Nurturing Resilience workshop is Nurturing Resillience 
Tuesday November 14th 8pm https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/nurturing-resilience-workshop-tickets-692528931677?aff=oddtdtcreator

I hope you found this supportive, do let me know.