We all have to blow off steam. We all do it appropriately and inappropriately at times, whether its arguing with our partners as adults or throwing a tantrums as toddlers. Adults have lots of different ways of decompressing “appropriately” in ways that don’t impact others negatively; some enjoy a glass of wine, a bath, some chocolate, a book, the gym, a social media scroll, yoga. Kids need the very same!

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Now having kids myself it has become more and more apparent that sometimes after playing by the rules they need to let loose. “What do you mean playing by the rules?” I hear you say, the rules of school, society and community all new and novel to them. Don’t shout, run, talk, eat, drink, go to the toliet now, colour here, stand there, hold hands, read this and so on!! Its a level of demand and compliance in an environment they feel compelled to conform! So after a few jam packed hours of learning societies expectations of you, you may have a little steam to blow off. Right?

As parents we need to support, accommodate and even facilitate that decompression! Sometimes they’ll seek it and it will be accomplished in an “appropriate” way and sometimes they wont and we then as parents find ourselves trying to manage unwanted behavior’s. Or behaviour that is negatively impacting the rest of the family.

Below is my list of after school frustration buster activities and tips on how to provide this outlet they may be seeking. I cover rainy days and dry days, physical and mental realise whatever that little person needs.

Top Tip: Vibes are actually important so be fun and silly. Remind them they are not in school now and you are not the teacher so lets be silly. Lets play;

The following are gross motor activities that can help with frustrations and help physically regulate a child all in the hopes of reducing inappropriate behaviour and nurturing their needs.

Trampoline: Jumping is always a winner try; Count and bounce, jump to five little monkeys, bounce to baby shark. Add a parachute, a ball whatever they fancy and will get them involved. We have a mini trampoline that we can bring inside on rainy days and it has proved very useful and it was inexpensive. Jumping on the bed is a great alternative here too if you have no trampoline but only if you too can let loose and either let it happen or even join in 😉

Tunnel fun; These are great to get them crawling and climbing. Pets can play too and they make a great addition to roadworks and traffic jam play which is a big deal in this house.

Climb a tree: olden but golden and a good activity to practice some risk taking too!

Two wheels or four; scooters, bikes, scuttle bugs, push cars, trikes you name it they all provide great feedback and freedom for this age group and can give such a great sense of freedom and independence.

Wobble Board: These can provide a slow comforting rhythm rock or fidget or a full on sensory experience the bigger and faster you move!

Top Tip: let them use bikes/vehicles some where really safe like a closed park or gated yard. It avoids you having to apply rules and reprimands when you are trying to let them let loose!

Playground: As above its a safe area you can let them free and not hoover but what makes it an extra great choice is, the climbing opportunities in playgrounds are like no other and this type of exercise can be super fulfilling for them.

Make a fort; This can take us all back a few decades. The best part is it can be done in any room with whatever you have in the house. Climbing, balancing and crawling are great not to mention creating something of your own that has no right or wrong!

Races and chases; I’m not near fit enough for the amount my kids would like to do this but my god they love it and they really get some serious feedback out of it.

Bath Time; Dont under estimate the value of sitting in water. Especially for this school going age. Bath toys are also so valuable to them because they dont have access to them daily or freely. Again try not to worry about splashing if you can’t be easy going it may be better avoided as it wont necessarily serve its purpose.

Yoga: The following videos have all been enjoyed in our house, from cosmic kids previously as they do it through story and role play.

Wheelbarrow; Filling it, carrying it and unloading the wheelbarrow. Its physical and fulfilling there’s no rules necessary. Fill with toys, balls, laundry, sand, water. Whatever is appropriate and fun for them. This also works with a shopping trolley.

Swings and Slides; these probably seem obvious but know this pushing someone on a swing and climbing up a slide are all as effective an activity as doing there counter parts.

Physio ball fun; I supported autistic children with large sensory diets for years. One recommendation which continually popped up during occupational therapy assessments and recommendations was Deep Pressure using weighted blankets, vest and physio balls. Im no OT but i definitely think deep pressure with a physio ball is worth a google or a query for any readers it may be new too. If deep pressure isn’t your kids cup of tea i highly recommend just a big old game of throwing, catching, bouncing and kicking the oversized ball. Help them bounce on it just like you did in labour! And roll on it belly down hands in yours aeroplane style. Its a giant ball have fun in whatever form eg. pretend its a giant boulder chasing you through the jungle?!

Dance Party; Volume up, furniture back and start to boogie make an absolute ass of yourself and they’ll love it and you’ll feel pretty good afterwards too.

The following are a list of activities which are more table top based and handy for a rainy day
Messy colouring; colouring is so therapeutic for all ages but this has no rules the sky doesn’t have to be blue the grass can be purple and you can even colour outside the lines because its “cuckoo” that’s what i say, just have fun! And as my 1st class teacher always said “There are no mistakes in art” what a woman, she was so right!!! Painting is also great and can be used the same and of course finger painting would be fabulously freeing too.

Bubbles; blowing is great and it can be a great time to teach the art of the deep breath which we all use daily!

Sand; sand is such a fantastic sensory experience. Magic sand, Kenetic sand whatever the brand is ideal for at the table. It can be creative, constructive or just plain messy whatever the mood takes and thats whats important that it can adapt to fufill that days need. It can also be enjoyed with or without a parent which is also important because that need changes like the weather also!

Playdoh and Pastry; A table top activity every generation enjoyed but never underestimate the pleasure in squeezing, rolling, pressing and cutting up it can be a real realise for some kids. Pastry is a great alternative too and adds another texture to this sort of session. Again avoid this if you are the parent who can’t let them mix the colours etc. it will only end in tears and more rules and structure.

Aquadoodle; sure look its a total no brainer you literally can not go wrong. Theres actually no right and wrong!! Its like when you are looking for a soap to watch at night because you’re too tired to watch anything that would take more brain power, that’s aquadoodle sit back, relax and recharge with your water pen and brush. Not Wet and wild but it does the trick and its strangely satisfying!

I hope you found this helpful and take something from it to help in your week. As always id love to know what you think or if you have any more suggestions that would even be better.

Enjoy Dee x

A visual schedule created with pictures can really help children feeling overwhelmed by the level of demands in the morning. Please feel free to use my PDF resource. Download, print and create at home for you and your family. Check out my recent post with more indepth advice and tips on improving mornings also. Pair those strategies with this visual to nail those morning transtions!

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It supports the child as it gives a clear expectation of what will be asked and what needs to be achieved. It helps support frustration caused from overload of language and/or processing. Using velcro or sellotape they can rip off each completed step and get to the end of their page with a sense of achievement.

Visual aids don’t have to be a permanent fixture in the household. It might just be a temporary measure to help get everyone singing off the same hymm sheet. When the routine and rules are back in place you’ll find you might not need it again until after midterm or Christmas/Summer holidays.

Why and Who might benefit from this simple visual tool:

A Home Where…..
– The pace of school mornings is totally new to all family members so there’s a big shift in the families lifestyle.
– The child has never been cared for outside of the home prior.
– There are younger siblings that monopolise parents time in the morning. The visual could give the older child a purpose and its completion something to be celebrated!
– There are different adults in charge depending on the day or week. This can keep the expectations the same and the rules regular no matter who is facilitating the routine. Children love everyone being on the same page!

A Child who…..
– Enjoys going at their own pace.
– Seeks control over their environment by “digging their heals in” and becoming what appears to be “defiant”.
-Enjoys and possibly needs clear and concise direction.
-Is seeking your attention through out the morning via repeated instructions and demands or possibly arguing over every instruction. although you the parent know they have these tasks mastered previously can be independent.
-Has a language delay.
-Who works better when they know the lay of the land and have a plan.
-A child who wants to “be in charge”
-Enjoys routine and predictability…… Oh by the way that’s every child ever 🤣

Do let me know if you print this free off resource in the comments.

Good luck!

The Gains of Gardening:

– Planting with soil and watering are all great forms of sensory play for every age. 

-Teach them where food actually comes from, you know not the shop!

-Responsibility and resilience some will grow and some won’t learn from your mistakes and move on and make sure enjoy and revel in the wins.

-Science and Maths what do you need for growing, energy, sunlight, water, measuring, sorting, time and patience.

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One of my favourite benefits of starting anything constructive or creative with toddlers and young children is;

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A magical Christmas can still include tantrums, high temperatures, sibling fighting, sleepless nights, poo explosion, teething to name but a few. A perfect Christmas day can still include a dinner rejected by a toddler. Managing your own expectations and the reality of the week is probably the best thing to start with. Manage your expectations of their behaviour and your own.

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